Community

So this weekend I went up to Arizona to see my partner. I go every few weeks, and everytime I do, it's always a culture shock. She's living in Mesa, Arizona this year, and let's just say it's a pretty conservative place. It's considered a good weekend when we don't get stares or a homophobic comment. That almost never happens. This weekend we got a passing "fag" comment. No matter how many times it happens, it's always infuriating, shocking, and hurtful. It's just been a while since we've been in a place where our sexuality was really questioned. We lived in Ann Arbor before, and had a great, really supportive community. Being a lesbian just wasn't an issue.

In attempts to find community in Arizona, we went to a lesbian bar with the other two semi-out lesbians at her school. While the bar was actually decent, going out with them was a-w-k-w-a-r-d- They didn't like to dance, made fun of everyone, didn't really talk, wanted to sit in a corner and sulk. Just not our scene.

I miss having a community where I belonged. Since moving to L.A., I feel like an alien, without a home. I think once you have a taste of what it feels like to find chosen family, it's really hard to go without it. I guess time will tell, it's only been a few months. I definately think being queer makes adapting to any new place rough. I also think every queer community is different, and maybe finding the perfect one for you hardly ever happens. I guess we'll see.