Sexual Identity and Other People

Well, there was a question about sexual identity in class and I didn't feel like spouting off then, but I rather do now.
Warning: This gets a bit rant-like.


I do think there is definitely a component of other people in how we self-identify and I, personally, am a prime example. Honestly, any problems with my sexuality are other people's. I have known to whom I am attracted since I was in elementary school and though the accepted term of identification would be bisexual, I never, ever, ever, EVER, self-identify as such.

I am not ashamed, I am not attempting to hide, but I will not accept all the connotations which are automatically conferred upon me when that term is used. For some reason, I cannot fathom, the same baggage and avaricious glee does not show up if I say that I am 1)somewhere in the middle, 2) a solid 3 on the Kinsey scale, 3) like people and not genitalia, et cetera.

And, to be honest, it shakes out to the same bloody thing, but I tend to deal less with (and seriously, if I missed a condescending assumption, please feel free to add...):

1. "Oh you just can't make up your mind."
2. "Don't worry--you'll meet a nice boy and get over this phase."
3. "I guess that is a good choice. At least you can get laid on a Saturday night."
4. "You are really a lesbian who's too scared to come out!"
   
5. Always from straight guys, "Can I watch?"

and whatever other way someone can tell you that you are a fence-sitter, a coward, stupid, incapable of making a decision, or that your sexuality boils down to being performative to titillate straight men.

I might be a little less combative if it were only straight people who tended to belittle, but that, in my experience at least, is not true. I understand fighting so hard to be recognized and developing a bit of tunnel vision. I don't understand doing so and then turning around a saying to another person, "Oh, but you don't count."

I agree with the young man in Word is Out about one thing. We sometimes get so caught in how we label ourselves that we forget that we are more than just one soul in a movement.